family. finance. friends. fitness. faith.
Base your success on happiness, and you will fail.
Happiness is the most common answer to the questions “what do you consider success?” I cringe each and every time I hear it. You see, ultimately, you have no control over your happiness. Tragedy strikes and your spouse dies. Your happiness instantly diminishes. Are you less successful because the feeling is gone? Not in the slightest.
We need to base our sense of success and self-worth on more than a fleeting emotion. This is important in both life and in business. There will be amazing days and infuriating days. From personal experience, if you are in business to be happy, you are in for a tough journey. So, if it isn’t happiness, how should we define success?
Five years ago, a business companion and mentor laid out his personal formula for success. His success was based upon personal achievement in the following five places: family, finance, friendships, fitness and faith. He had simple goals for each of these areas. To him, a successful day was defined by whether or not he made progress on his goals within at least one of these areas. If he was one step closer, then today was a great day. It was based upon the balanced quality of his life.
So many people argue over whether you can define success by how much wealth you acquire. The answer is a simple yes. Of course you can. It just isn’t the whole formula. If you are massively financially successful but have no one to share it with, sacrificed your health, and have no sense of purpose, then you will be completely miserable. You need some level of satisfaction in all five areas.
I often look over the reasons I am in business. I have such strong passion for our business I have to be careful not to let it consume my life. I have learned not to define my success by the daily ebbs and flow of my business. I have long-term business goals, family plans (go, go, baby making power), make time for the strong friendships in my life, continue to push myself every time I surf and will never end my personal quest for growth & meaning. The fact is, it is not about feeling happy, it is about living a purpose filled life, with a balanced focus on the right places.
This is great! It does leave me with one question though… Where does Environment fit into the equation? I can’t see being successful if the world around me is falling apart.
I see “friends” and “family” as part of my environment. And I can see “fitness” as pertaining to keeping the air clean. “Faith” inspires helping others. And “finance” can support efforts to make the world a better place. But ultimately, I can’t claim success without witnessing the success of my environment and the world around me.
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Great blog! I love the five choices and could even see there being possibly one or two other goal areas…such as what Peter suggests environment and maybe (something I find of value) service. I think it depends on the person.
Allow me to disagree. I don’t believe happiness is a “fleeting emotion”. People who are truly happy (as opposed to fooling themselves) are happy over a long period of time - months upon months, years upon years.
People who are happy are not sad on Monday, happy on Tuesday, sad on Wednesday, depressed on Thursday, elated on Friday. Fleeting happiness is more a sign of a psychological problem.
Also, I take issue with your example, if my spouse died it should not have an impact on my success. My spouse is one of the large reasons for my success and happiness. And she will be in the future. So if she was to die, it definitely would make me a less successful person. Isn’t “family” and “fitness” part of your success criteria? So your spouse dying would impact your success even under your own definition of it.
Scott - you make 2 really great points! Thanks so much for your comment.
There is a joy to a life well lived. Satisfaction for achievement, love, growth and all the things that make life worth living. The things that make us smile.
I’ve always considered that quite different from the turbulence that most people call happiness. The issue is that many contractors I meet often allow this fickle feeling (momentary euphoria?) - to shape their decision making. I feel happy right now therefor I should do this. Its like a heroin user looking for their next fix. I have heard one too many people say that they are not happy right now (for a number of reasons) and therefor they consider themselves and their business “a failure”. I just honestly believe that success is based upon much more than an emotion. Of course, I’m thrilled you disagree and can’t wait to read your rebuttal blog argument. I’m open and will read it voraciously.
As for the spouse, can’t argue that one. Poor choice on my part. I wouldn’t be a 1/4 the man I am becoming without Julie at my side. If she died I would be devastated. But I would not consider myself less successful.
Thanks for the thoughts!
I’m not so sure the keys to success or happyness are that simple.
Think of the bumper sticker, “If you’re not outraged, your not paying attention.” (Not that i fully subscribe to this motto) Or I suppose the inverse: “Ignorance is Bliss”.
Is it possible to “pay attention” and be happy and sucessful? Does happyness require ignorance?
family. friends. finance. fitness. faith. ignorance?